Dacklin has a drink

"Hey Dack! What the hell have you been up to? I haven't seen you in ages." Well, to be honest with this guy, Aimon Baird, I wasn't in the best of moods. i wasn't in the best of times actually. My life had just fallen apart a week before. I could tell this guy my son had just died. I could have told him my wife had threw me out of our house the same day we buried him. I could have told him my life was over. I wasn't there to talk though, I was there to drink, actually, to get beyond drunk, to a place where you're allowed to forget everything, including yourself. What I said was simple. "Well life isn't always what you expect it. I didn't expect seeing you for starters. Buy me a drink." "Sure Dack. Let's get that drink. It's on me." "I know."

That was the night. And the next two weeks. I lived at a co-workers house. Officer S. Gerard. He was single so he didn't have to ask his wife. He let me sleep on his couch. I was given leave from the police force, a three week bereavement leave for the loss of my son. Three weeks. Three weeks because I lost most of what was dear to me. the most important person in my life. I had lost my son, and it was my fault. I never told my wife I had taken the time off, I didn't want to see her, well, I did I always want to see her, but I know I can be stubborn, so when she doesn't want me, I tell myself I don't want her.

It's interesting to me what people can go through and get through in life. I don't fully believe that there are moments in your life that you can get over, actually I fully believe some things you could never get over, and I don't really believe you can fully get through them, but I do know, for some reason, we have the ability to move on. i don't like that concept, the concept of moving on. It makes me feel like I'm giving up on the belief of something, giving up on the memory of something, or someone. I will never give up on my boy. I will never forget him. I will remember every word he said. I will remember every step he ever took. i will remember everything. I will never forget Banning. He was so small, so fair, so ready for a great and fortunate life. All he needed was someone who could look after him, to take care of him. Someone to be better for him. He needed a father. I had failed at that. That's something I will never get over, never get through. I failed my son. that is on me.