And Still I'm Happier Now

the virus blows with help as wind is not always our dear friend,
it often carries us away from where we want to be today,
and it's hard when we don't say goodbye and still we watch each other leave and lie,
you with tears on your sweet face,
and me angry at us both, full of a devil fire

like the ants you invited into my bed I am being eaten by waiting,
and I have and am trying,
but I'm not sure there will be much left when you are ready for me,
if blessing me now is that hard I don't know how,
it's suspicious this timetable,
why an order is necessary for a love,
maybe just to be tested, to prove I am good enough,
and here I am failing and hurting and killing hearts

looking out a window
watching what could have been run by
my screams they echo low
and your face with no reply

little moments once found themselves filled with smiles and happiness,
now overflow with doubt and disappointment,
if I could die once it would be that day,
then you wouldn't hate me all days because of one day,
you would love me,
and that is what I would remember of you,
and you of me

I see children fading from pictures I haven't taken yet,
memories being forgotten we haven't made yet,
promises being broken we haven't made yet,
love being lost we haven't found yet,
I gave you some things because I thought they would keep you warm and loved,
you gave me something that would erase a part of me,
and you don't see that,
because thats not how you want me
I find time is a slow death

ALL I HAVE IS TIME